Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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