Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
