I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
