I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
