so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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