so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
