I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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