this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
