I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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