whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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