Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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