forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
