there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
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