God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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