dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
