You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
