I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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