So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
