Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
