While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
