There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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