So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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