Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
