the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
