We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
