i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
