No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
