I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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