Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
