Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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