Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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