I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We are two peas in an std pod
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
