...so i touched it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My feet surprised me
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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