I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
