Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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