I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I want to make a zoo with you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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