Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my poor anus
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
