What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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