I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
