Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
