You're a womanizer and a bitch.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
