So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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