I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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