where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
