I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
