He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
