I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
