do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
