Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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