New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
