My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
you made out with another girl for some wings
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
